It's been so hard to keep it in, but with the first trimester behind us, we can finally say, we're pregnant! And we couldn't be any more thrilled.
We first found out December 5th and were terrified. I took four pregnancy tests and we were stunned. We hadn't even reached our first wedding anniversary, and were worried...had we had enough 'us' time? What about our Japan/Hong Kong vacation this year we had been talking about? We just signed that new lease...the puppy...we were freaking out. I called my sister and my go-to advice guru, Megan, and they both reassured us, "There is never a good time for a baby. But it is the BEST thing that could ever happen to both of you, and your lives will never be the same."
And so, we did the only thing we could think of. We went to Litza's Pizza and watched a Jazz game and just kept looking at eachother. And then, as the news sunk in, we got excited (and still scared.) We moved into our new place, prepared for Christmas, and Diet Coke and sushi went off my menu. But just a week or so before Christmas, I started bleeding and cramping. We rushed in for an emergency ultrasound, did blood tests, and I laid there for what felt like an hour as the technician moved around his probe. He wouldn't say anything, and so we just waited. Staring at the screen. Those couple minutes were the worst of my life. He finally declared that he couldn't find a heartbeat, and to come back in two weeks for another ultrasound, but to expect the worst. We left the office and I had never felt this sort of pain before. I wept and Zac and I were terrified, all over again. But this time because we thought we had lost our little baby. Waiting those weeks, flying home to Raleigh and not saying anything to my parents (incase there wasn't a baby), was hard.
We finally flew back into Utah and had the ultrasound, and the technician congratulated us on the strong heartbeat as we watched it beat on the screen. And after that experience, we realized what a miracle this little life is, and that we wanted this baby, so so badly.
So, we've still been freaked out, but so excited. The first trimester hasn't been too bad---the low moments being throwing up in a grocery store, and feeling so carsick at night, but Unisom and B6 have been lifesavers. Zac has been way better than the drugs though--being willing to make whatever I've felt like. Pancakes for dinner, rice with soy sauce, runs to get Thai food and then discovering I can't look at it without gagging. He's taken care of Theo, cleaned up his messes, and basically deserves a Superman cape.
I think that Baby Bean is a boy, because right after that four-pregnancy-test day I had a dream and woke up with a start thinking, It's a boy, but hey, could be the hormones. Zac really wants a girl though, so he protests anytime I overuse the pronoun 'he.' So...we'll see!
The weirdest things I've noticed about pregnancy are that I can't seem to look at most Asian food without wanting to die (and Indian, Thai, Chinese, and Japanese were formerly my favorites) and that I can smell everyone's shampoo in the office. It feels like a superpower, really.
Our friend Cami also took some of these shots with our shoes...thanks, Cami!
So, Old Navy maternity leggings have been a lifesaver as I can't fit into my jeans anymore (who would've thought I would be an advocate of Old Navy??) and usually all I want to eat all day is fruit cups. I have already planned though that the day the baby is born I want to have nothing but sashimi and Diet Coke. Lots of it.
Every time I go in for an ultrasound, the tech. laughs at how much Baby Bean bounces and moves around. "What an active baby!" she says. My brother-in-law has already offered to train him as an athlete, since he will not get that kind of help from me.